Dear Pastor - From A Person In The Pew

Dear Pastor-

With Holy Week upon us- there are some who are already planning and writing their sermons in advance. And some who the very thought causes panic because it’s not something they will begin until 24 hours in advance.

Where ever you find yourself on that spectrum- we the people in the pews want to say thank you. Thank you for all of your hard work. Thank you for the sacrifices you are making- both for your time and your families. Thank you for helping us to hear the Gospel, for helping us creatively engage with this God who has rescued us, for providing so many opportunities, and for welcoming so many in who you might not regularly see. You have our deep gratitude. 

But might we also offer a few words of wisdom? We know you are so busy, you might not have time to distinguish our “needs” from our “wants.” Or that our own problems and conflict and hurt might make it difficult for us to articulate our real needs and not just desires. Please don’t let our thoughts diminish our incredible gratitude but we want to help as best we can: 

1. We know it’s the busiest time of the year for you all. Again- we are grateful for all your hard work. Together with the Christmas season, it’s a lot of work hours. 

But in our theology, you’ve trained us well. If we are equipped to serve, then we need to act like it. Please know we are working just as hard, along side you. We are also working 40-60 hours a week, managing our kids and family schedules. And we are journeying together during Holy Week. 

Please know how grateful we are for all of your hard work. But it also wounds us deeply when our hard work is taken for granted. When we hear grumbling about your long hours or not enough people volunteering or about how hard it is to get everything done at church. We empathize with you and feel your pain! We just worked a 10 hour day and showed up, sacrificing time with our family and friends to serve right alongside you.

We know that the burden is greater for you as the leader. We don’t want to minimize that, but we want to help. Please also trust us by telling us how difficult it is. But to be honest? Sometimes it hurts to see rants on social media. To hear the bitter words at 9.30 pm when we want to be home too. Please share the burden with us but don’t dump on us. And please use the time we give well. You hate it when we waste your time, please treat us with the same dignity and respect. Our deepest desire is for people to experience and hear again the story of God’s redeeming grace. So we share it in word and action at work and with our families all day long too. We consider it an honor to serve you so others in our church families can be renewed and refreshed, too.

2. We are so grateful for all of the staff and volunteers under your leadership that help make such a busy week so meaningful. We understand Holy Week is a marathon. Also that everyone has different expectations and needs. Different age groups, culture, family systems, and the list goes on and on. 

But in the midst of that- please don’t let the complexity stifle the Gospel. It’s easy to become so creative and try to accomplish so much... Especially on Easter. Trying to pack in a years worth into one service... Please, share the Good News with us. Please don’t bypass the Gospel. Don’t get us wrong- we don’t envy you. Preaching on the most familiar passages Year in and year out, we imagine it to be challenging: Christmas, Easter, Luke 15, Psalm 23. But please don’t skip over the rescue. Please don’t bypass the cross and empty tomb and think we are bored of hearing about it. We are begging- please don’t skip over the life giving words of Jesus. We need them just as much today, and every day. 

3. Please manage well- we know there are only things you can do as a pastor. You wouldn’t want me to install the plumbing in your home because I’m an electrician. But please know it’s no threat to your identity when we offer to help. We are equipped to serve. Please know we know there are things we can’t do but share, delegate, and lead well by using our gifts for the sake of the kingdom. God has gifted us uniquely and it brings life. Be clear in your expectations- tell us what you want directly. Understand we might have a few questions because we want to do what you want so it might take a few extra minutes up front. Practically speaking- it also means it will take me 20 minutes to fix the light in the sanctuary instead of you wasting 6 hours yourself. So you and I can be on to the next project sooner or with our families.

4. We know the adrenaline can really pump, especially when you’re running on caffeine and little sleep. We know it’s an accident but the meaning aren’t what the words convey. But sometimes we’ve heard from a preacher or two.... When it’s crowded on an Easter Sunday, when there aren’t any chairs left to be had... Sometimes a preacher has tried to joke and ease the tension in the over crowded room but saying- wouldn’t it be nice if we had this problem year round? Or- you know the church is open more than just Christmas and Easter, right? 

To be honest- there is a whole of truth in that. And a good many of us do need to get off our lazy back sides and re-examine priorities. But, among us are some who are wounded. For whatever reason- by the church, our families, or self-inflicted wounds. And walking in the doors of a church when you are sure the crowd will be so big you won’t be noticed... Or because your relationship with Jesus does mean so much to you that no matter the hurt you can’t stay away... Or because our bones are so old and hurting or we are so sick, the amount of health it costs us to be there is so great, once or twice a year is the most we can manage. Please see us. Please see our hurt and our pain. Please see this as an opportunity to share the Good News with us again. Please don’t make the joke to lighten the mood and speak truth instead. Thank us for taking on this battle. Remind us that the victory won at the empty tomb means that God is making this right too and bringing healing. It costs us so much to try and show up, please know we are here. And we are so grateful for your hard work even if we don’t show it. 

5. It’s a big week in the life of the church. And it should be. We hope you enjoy some rest. It’s well deserved. But know we all go right back to work. Trying to support our families. But also living out our faith. Speaking words of life. Working hard to build relationships to earn the right to speak into people’s lives. 

Thank you for all your hard work. Please know it doesn’t go unseen or unappreciated. And for all of your hard work that gets displaced when there’s an emergency, thank you for showing up in the best and worst moments of our lives. For listening. For your compassion. Your service. And reminding us of the truth of what we are about to celebrate. Please know we are praying for you. And forgive us for our mistakes and shortcomings.

A Person In The Pew